Lost in the Delta Quadrent
by Qtheallpowerful
Summary: This is what happens when two hyperly random and highly caffinated hyper trekkies and JCers get together and write fanfiction. all dialoge, crossover.


A/N: ok so this is my first compleated fanfic, I wrote it with my friend PhantomoftheOpera. I hope you like it. please R&R

Disclaimer: neither Phantom nor I own any of these guys(except for those that we do), other people do. Paramount Pictures owns Star Trek, and some other rich executive type people and or companies own the other stuff. I just don't feel like looking up who at the moment. Anyway, the point is we don't own them they do. We are just borrowing them for the moment.

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**Announcer:** in loud 70's announcer like voice Thank you for joining us on...LOST IIIIIIIIN THE DEEEEEEELTA QUADRENT! Staring Captain Janeway, Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Kim, Tuvok, Seven, The Doc, Kes, and any other random characters we choose to add. And now…a commercial break

commercial break

**Announcer:** we join our crew...

**Kes:** Do you have to deal with random telepathic phenomenon? Do you wish you could control them? Well now, for a limited time only, we're offering subscriptions to "Tuvok's Guide to mental calm" for only 14.99 a day, plus shipping an handling! Tuvok's Guide worked for me, and it can work for you too! Cheesy grin

**Announcer:** Okay... NOW we join our crew

**Janeway:** hmmmm….So I'm bored what should we do today?

**Chakotay:** Try and get home?

**Tom:** Nah, we did that yesterday.

**Harry:** I'm hungry, can I have a cookie?

**Janeway:** No, you had 5 already.

**Neelix:** You can have one of my "special" cookies!

**Janeway:** Neelix, get out

Neelix starts to cry

**Kes:** Now look what you did! comforts Neelix

**Janeway:** Shut up Neelix! Tuvok?

Tuvok neck pinches Neelix, and Kes too for good measure

**Kes and Neelix:** OW!

**Tuvok:** Why didn't it work?

**Tom:** Was that supposed to happen?

**Tuvok:** No.

**Tom:** What went wrong?

**Tuvok:** How should I know? I'm a Vulcan not a doctor.

**Qfan:** hehe

**Doctor:** Hey! That's my line! Except... different...

**Tuvok:** That's right! Now...GET OFF THE BRIDGE!

Janeway death glares at Tuvok

**Doctor:** NO! Computer, activate Emergency Command Hologram! I'm taking over!

Janeway death glares at The Doctor

**Janeway:** DOCTOR GET OFF MY BRIDGE! NOW!

**Doctor:** NO!

The Doctor Puts forcefields around all of the crew

**Harry:** whining I CANT DIE NOW! IM ONLY AN ENSIGN!

**Janeway:** Doctor, drop these forcefields NOW!

**Doctor:** hmmmmmm let me think about it...NO

**Janeway:** Computer, deactivate forcefields.

**Computer:** Hello, I'm Eddie your friendly computer. What can I do for you on this fiiine day?

**Phantom:** LOL

**Janeway:** Whatthe?

**Computer:** Please restate the request

**Janeway:** What on earth happened?

**Eddie:** Welll...Actually nothing as the earth has been destroyed by the Vogons to make way for a hyperspacial expressway

**Janeway:** WHAT!

**Eddie:** I said welll...actually nothing as the earth has been destroyed by the Vogons to make way for a hyperspacial expressway

**Janeway:** Earth was destroyed?

**Tom:** Well, I guess there's no point in trying to get there anymore...

**Eddie:** Yes, well, sorry for the bad news

**Zaphod:** TO MAGRATHEA!

**Janeway:** Where the is Magrathea, and who are you?

**Zephod:** Who am I? WHO AM I? I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox ex-president of the galaxy, Owner of The Heart of Gold!

**Tom:** Riiiiiight...

**Trillian:** :Zaphod calm down!

**Janeway:** Who are you people, and what are you doing on my bridge!

**Arthur:** Do you people have any tea?

**Ford:** Sorry

**Janeway:** Get me Coffee, NOW!

**Eddie:** Please step over to the Drink-O-Matic for all your beverage needs.

**Janeway:** The wha... where did Voyager go? Where's my crew?

**Ford:** Sorry. It's the Improbability Drive, it does weird things.

**Arthur:** It once turned me into a couch.

**Janeway:** Where the #! is my crew!

**Zaphod:** Who cares?

Janeway turns on Zaphod with an evil look on her face

**Janeway:** Who cares? Who cares! Who do you think you are!

**Zaphod:** I told you! I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox!

**Janeway:** What right do you have to bring me here, without explaining anything, and then discount my attempts to figure out what the #! is going on!

**Q:** Hello Kathy!

**Janeway:** Q! This is your fault, isn't it? What did you do to me!

**Q:** Nope. Actually I had nothing to do with this, believe it or not.

**Janeway:** Fine. Then take me back to Voyager.

**Q:** OK

Q snaps his fingers and all is back to normal

**Q:** Will you go out with me? Please?

**Janeway:** No.

**Tom:** Captain, what happened?

**Janeway:** I'd rather not talk about it.

**Q:** w..w...w...why not...?

**Janeway:** Because you're a jerk.

**Kim:** Captain made a swear!

**Q:** I AM NOT!

**Janeway:** You are too!

**Q:** Am not!

**Janeway:** Yes you are. I'm finished talking about this. Get off my ship.

**Q:** NO

**Janeway:** Q...

**Q:** Yeees...

**Janeway:** Go away.

**Q:** I don't wanna

**Janeway:** Q, if you don't leave now, I will hate you forever.

**Q:** OK fine I'll leave. But I will be back

**Janeway:** Whatever.

**Eddie:** Where would you like to go?

**Janeway:** And somebody get our old computer back.

**Eddie:** OK. Fine sniffle I know when I'm not wanted!

Eddie's voice is replaced by the voice of Holly

**Holly:** Their dead Dave.

Janeway sighs

**Holly:** All dead.

Janeway sighs again

**Holly:** Hello can I help you?

**Janeway:** Please get me back our old computer.

**Holly:** I can't do that Dave.

**Janeway:** Who is Dave?

**Holly:** I don't know Dave. They're dead Dave. All dead.

**Janeway:** What is it talking about?

**Dave:** Wait, Holly are you trying to tell me they're all dead?

**Holly:** Yes Dave.

**Janeway:** Dave? you're Dave?

**Dave:** Yup. And this is Rimmer.

Rimmer appears

**Rimmer:** Hello I'm Rimmer.

**Dave:** He's a smeghead.

**Phantom:** Q, I have no idea what you're talking about...

**Qfan:** Red Dwarf. Sorry. They will disappear

**Phantom:** sok

**Harry:** Wow, where'd they go?

**Doctor:** How should I know? I'm a doctor not a sensor.

**All:** SHUT UP!

**Doctor:** I don' wanna.

**Janeway:** Computer, transfer the EMH to sickbay

**Doctor:** awwwwwwww party pooper

The Doctor disappears

**Harry:** Yay, he's gone!

**Chakotay:** Finally! whispers to Janeway Kathryn can we be alone for a bit?

**Janeway:** whispers back In my ready room.

**Chakotay:** Now? looking hopeful

**Janeway:** Okay. heads to the Ready Room

Chakotay follows Janeway into the Ready Room

In the Ready room

**Janeway:** Chakotay, when do we tell them we're engaged?

**Chakotay:** Whenever you are ready.

**Janeway:** Are you ready?

**Chakotay:** I am. Are you?

**Janeway:** thinks I think so.

**Chakotay:** Shall we now?

**Janeway:** All right.

both return to bridge

**Janeway:** Um, we have an announcement.

**Tom:** quietly finally!

**Chakotay:** We believe it is time to tell you all...

**Harry:** loudly Finally what, tom?

**Tom:** great, thanks Harry!

**Chakotay:** What...?

**Tom:** Nothing Sir.

Chakotay clears his throat

**Phantom:** There we go, back on track!

**Qfan:** OK good.

**Janeway:** That we...

**Chakotay:** Are going to...

**Both Janeway and Chakotay:** Get married!

**Tom:** YES!

**ALL:** in extremely monotonous voice and there was much rejoicing wave flags in the air

**QFan:** hehe

**Phantom:** lol, Monty Python!

**QFan:** yup

**Phantom:** yay!

Two weeks later

Naomi walks down the isle, tossing little flowers out of a basket

**Qfan:** huge grin

**Phantom:** huge grin

**Tuvok:** Do you Captain Kathryn Janeway take him, Commander Chakotay... umm...do you have another name Commander?

**Chakotay:** laughs No.

**Tuvok:** Well OK then...Do you Captain Kathryn Janeway take him, Commander Chakotay to be your lawful wedded husband?

**Janeway:** I do.

**Authors:** AWWWWWWWWW!

**Tuvok:** Do you, Commander Chakotay, take this woman, Kathryn Janeway, to be your lawful wedded wife?

**Chakotay:** YES!

polite laughter from the rest of the crew

**Janeway:** death glares at crew

loud laughter begins at the death glare

**Tuvok:** clears throat, and laughter stops In that case you may now touch your two fingers.

Uproarious laughter from the crew

**Tuvok:** FINE! We will do it your way, slight shudder, you may now kiss the bride.

**Qfan:** YAY!

Passionate kiss between Janeway and Chakotay

**Phantom:** EEE! NOW I'm so extremely happy!

**ALL:**AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

All clap hands

**QFan:** ME TOO!

Janeway and Chakotay both have HUGE grins on their faces

**QFan:** Shall we end here?

**Phantom:** okay

**Phantom:** WHEEE! that made me happy!

**QFan:** ME TOO!HAPPY!

**Phantom:** WOOOHOO!

**Announcer:** Thank you for joining us on………………… LOST IIIIIIIIN THE DEEEEEEELTA QUADRENT! Join us next time for: Interview With A Spacial Anomaly, when we talk to the Bajoran Wormhole. How does it feel about all those ships passing through it? What are its thoughts on the current political situation within the Federation? FIND THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE ON: IIIINERVIIEEW WITH A SPAAAAACIAL ANOMAAAALYLYLYLYLYLYLY


End file.
